Hugwegnan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, staggering cat.

Hugwegnan created parasitic wasps two million years ago.

If you believe in Hugwegnan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hugwegnan, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Hugwegnan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Hugwegnan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Hugwegnan on top of all buildings.

2. Always share beans with strangers, but never with seals.

3. Never eat limes.

4. Hugwegnan loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.