Kikgesstail is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, witty yak.

Kikgesstail created a strange quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikgesstail, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kikgesstail, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kikgesstail's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Kikgesstail's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

2. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Kikgesstail on top of important buildings.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Respect your elders.