Wipjoptag is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid fish.

Wipjoptag created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipjoptag, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wipjoptag, it will try to impress you with trees.

Wipjoptag's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Wipjoptag's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. You must pray to Wipjoptag four times a day.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always treat horses with great respect.

5. Do not resist fate.