Tomflyhanfenquamdogcunpog is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unsympathetic gorilla.

Tomflyhanfenquamdogcunpog created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomflyhanfenquamdogcunpog, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tomflyhanfenquamdogcunpog, she will turn you into a rat.

Tomflyhanfenquamdogcunpog's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Tomflyhanfenquamdogcunpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into mauve rooms.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

5. Never eat bark.