Bugpomzak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, dishonourable porpoise.

Bugpomzak created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bugpomzak, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bugpomzak, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bugpomzak's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Bugpomzak's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Hide if seven goats approach from the south.

3. Put Bugpomzak first in all things.

4. Always treat dogs with great respect.

5. You must pray to Bugpomzak four times a day.