Quatcetrull is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unfair badger.

Quatcetrull created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quatcetrull, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Quatcetrull, it will torture you forever.

Quatcetrull's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Quatcetrull's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never talk about optics.

3. Worship no other gods but Quatcetrull.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Quatcetrull loves shrews, so they must be honoured.