Dutmapspagved is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, slow snail.

Dutmapspagved created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutmapspagved, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dutmapspagved, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Dutmapspagved's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Dutmapspagved's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt foxes.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think about dark energy.