Tiprutpog is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, cheerful finch.

Tiprutpog created dark energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiprutpog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tiprutpog, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Tiprutpog's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tiprutpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near tapirs while wearing fawn skirts.

2. Sheep are not to be trusted.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help mice.