Gupbonklab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet troll.

Gupbonklab created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupbonklab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gupbonklab, he will turn you into a dog.

Gupbonklab's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Gupbonklab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never paint your feet white.

5. Gupbonklab loves capybaras, so they must be respected.