Bedcimjig is a god.

He takes the form of a small, egotistical mouse.

Bedcimjig created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bedcimjig, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bedcimjig, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bedcimjig's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bedcimjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Bedcimjig loves dogs, so they must be respected.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.