Tagzimsak is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, amazing newt.

Tagzimsak created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagzimsak, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tagzimsak, she will turn you into a mouse.

Tagzimsak's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Tagzimsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark energy.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

4. Do not take Tagzimsak's name in vain.

5. Respect your elders.