Wontinvan Gombesspom is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, wise finch.

Wontinvan Gombesspom created the Virgo Supercluster nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wontinvan Gombesspom, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wontinvan Gombesspom, she will think nothing of it.

Wontinvan Gombesspom's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Wontinvan Gombesspom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat oranges.

2. Wontinvan Gombesspom must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Wontinvan Gombesspom loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.