Appgutjig is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, conceited dugong.

Appgutjig created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Appgutjig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Appgutjig, she will boil you in a big pot.

Appgutjig's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Appgutjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in red rooms.

2. Never paint your back violet.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not chant in public.