Vedkem is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, generous dingo.

Vedkem created the Sun nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedkem, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vedkem, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vedkem's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Vedkem's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not keep five whales in a large pit.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Do not commit murder.