Tarkon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, charitable beaver.

Tarkon created the Black Eye Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarkon, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tarkon, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tarkon's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tarkon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help whales.

2. Always share bread with strangers, but never with snakes.

3. Run away from white aardvarks, for they are unholy.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.