Dogdamrig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, weak aardvark.

Dogdamrig created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dogdamrig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dogdamrig, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Dogdamrig's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Dogdamrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record numbers concerning planets.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never feed apples to ants while wearing turquoise skirts.

4. Never gather eight hamsters near wells.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dogdamrig.