Batxemshav is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, fussy ferret.

Batxemshav created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Batxemshav, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Batxemshav, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Batxemshav's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Batxemshav's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Batxemshav.

2. Never write about spacetime.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. Never chant in the presence of snakes.