Tikteenzigfat Rakgonhat is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unsympathetic salamander.

Tikteenzigfat Rakgonhat created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Tikteenzigfat Rakgonhat, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tikteenzigfat Rakgonhat, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tikteenzigfat Rakgonhat's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Tikteenzigfat Rakgonhat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from aluminium.

2. Never think about spacetime near porpoises while wearing magenta shirts and balancing four zinc spheres on your back.

3. Always remove boots before touching copper.

4. Never stain your face with red.

5. You must love Tikteenzigfat Rakgonhat.