Rutmatlag is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, conceited alligator.

Rutmatlag created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutmatlag, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rutmatlag, he will not care.

Rutmatlag's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Rutmatlag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Erect a giant black sculpture of Rutmatlag in the centre of the settlement.