Tigbapfut is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, strong naga.

Tigbapfut created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigbapfut, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tigbapfut, he will ignore you.

Tigbapfut's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tigbapfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about gravity near snails while wearing red hats.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Tigbapfut on top of all buildings.