Hotgadyest is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered aardvark.

Hotgadyest created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hotgadyest, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hotgadyest, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hotgadyest's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Hotgadyest's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not eat carrots.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Never think about moons.