Sagflapflatfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, bad-tempered newt.

Sagflapflatfeb created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sagflapflatfeb, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sagflapflatfeb, she will not care at all.

Sagflapflatfeb's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Sagflapflatfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always help bats.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never think ill of sick goats.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Sagflapflatfeb on top of all buildings.

5. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.