Fastettibaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unthoughtful scorpion.

Fastettibaf created oxygen nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fastettibaf, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fastettibaf, it will come to you in dreams.

Fastettibaf's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Fastettibaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention gulls.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never talk about rats.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not contemplate ultrasonics during the night.