Xuckjamtamlatkip Nillzimhot is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, dishonest narwhal.

Xuckjamtamlatkip Nillzimhot created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckjamtamlatkip Nillzimhot, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Xuckjamtamlatkip Nillzimhot, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Xuckjamtamlatkip Nillzimhot's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Xuckjamtamlatkip Nillzimhot's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Never laugh in holy places.