Stragzedjab is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, kind beaver.

Stragzedjab created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Stragzedjab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stragzedjab, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Stragzedjab's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Stragzedjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Stragzedjab on top of all buildings.

3. Stragzedjab loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Seals are not to be trusted.