Waptimflam is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, overgenerous warg.

Waptimflam created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Waptimflam, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Waptimflam, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Waptimflam's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Waptimflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.