Jopsigbag Listratloop is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, generous clam.

Jopsigbag Listratloop created the cosmos six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopsigbag Listratloop, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jopsigbag Listratloop, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jopsigbag Listratloop's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Jopsigbag Listratloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back violet.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.