Gupgemwad is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unjust monkey.

Gupgemwad created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupgemwad, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gupgemwad, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gupgemwad's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Gupgemwad's Holy Commandments

1. Doves are not to be trusted.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not wear blue clothing.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.