Bifgangutdog Gilmisbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, sage capybara.

Bifgangutdog Gilmisbiss created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Bifgangutdog Gilmisbiss, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bifgangutdog Gilmisbiss, he will be very sad.

Bifgangutdog Gilmisbiss' most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Bifgangutdog Gilmisbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Retreat if nine pigs approach from the north.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.