Vonvegkip is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, passionate bat.

Vonvegkip created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonvegkip, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vonvegkip, it will come to you in dreams.

Vonvegkip's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Vonvegkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Vonvegkip on top of all buildings.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Vonvegkip in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always take life seriously.