Bossagnab is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, sage hamster.

Bossagnab created a top quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Bossagnab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bossagnab, he will turn you into a plant.

Bossagnab's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bossagnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bossagnab.

3. Never fashion tools from stone.

4. Always remove kilts before touching silver.

5. Always wash your back before prayer.