Ratdabcepquafceppak is a god.

He takes the form of a small, stupid crab.

Ratdabcepquafceppak created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ratdabcepquafceppak, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ratdabcepquafceppak, he will think nothing of it.

Ratdabcepquafceppak's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Ratdabcepquafceppak's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. You must pray to Ratdabcepquafceppak nine times a day.