Hittifhomhat is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, selfish crow.

Hittifhomhat created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hittifhomhat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hittifhomhat, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hittifhomhat's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Hittifhomhat's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Do not kill swans.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Hittifhomhat in the centre of the settlement.