Midwitcub is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, sapient goblin.

Midwitcub created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midwitcub, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Midwitcub, she will try to impress you with trees.

Midwitcub's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Midwitcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

5. Never eat bark.