Zodjonzan is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, loving mink.

Zodjonzan created the Whirlpool Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zodjonzan, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zodjonzan, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Zodjonzan's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Zodjonzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Never chant in the presence of ducks.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near monkeys while wearing turquoise coats and balancing nine zinc spheres on your neck.

4. Never paint your hands indigo.

5. Never write about solid mechanics.