Sithigdamrul is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omniscient goblin.

Sithigdamrul created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sithigdamrul, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sithigdamrul, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Sithigdamrul's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Sithigdamrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill birds.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sithigdamrul.

3. Sithigdamrul must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think about dark matter.

5. Never pour water over plants.