Honlargwap is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, stupid eagle.

Honlargwap created the Black Eye Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honlargwap, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Honlargwap, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Honlargwap's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Honlargwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat corn.

2. Never think about gravity near cats while wearing fawn tights and balancing three silver spheres on your head.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Never feed coconuts to mites while wearing mauve kilts.

5. Never play with disobedient children.