Neggammif is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, vain capybara.

Neggammif created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Neggammif, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Neggammif, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Neggammif's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Neggammif's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.