Flapsangig is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, weak crocodile.

Flapsangig created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapsangig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flapsangig, she will try to impress you with trees.

Flapsangig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Flapsangig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Always obey Flapsangig's priests.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. You must love Flapsangig.

5. Always pray immersed in water.