Loptikbif is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish owl.

Loptikbif created the solar system four years ago.

If you believe in Loptikbif, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Loptikbif, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Loptikbif's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Loptikbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always help dolphins in need.

3. Always help sick eagles.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always look after injured grasshopers.