Dapontrillartbeg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, pitiless wren.

Dapontrillartbeg created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapontrillartbeg, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dapontrillartbeg, he will come to you in dreams.

Dapontrillartbeg's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Dapontrillartbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near hamsters while wearing blue boots and balancing eight copper spheres on your chest.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Dapontrillartbeg on top of all buildings.

4. Do not keep three sharks in a large pit.

5. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Dapontrillartbeg in the centre of the settlement.