Nilontflow is a god.

She takes the form of a small, kind giraffe.

Nilontflow created the world two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nilontflow, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nilontflow, she will turn you into a puffin.

Nilontflow's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Nilontflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Nilontflow loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

4. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Feed all hungry grasshopers.