Natkemtail is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, astonishing grasshopper.

Natkemtail created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Natkemtail, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Natkemtail, he will turn you into a mouse.

Natkemtail's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Natkemtail's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Do not take Natkemtail's name in vain.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics.