Ortbimhom is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, overgenerous guinea pig.

Ortbimhom created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortbimhom, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ortbimhom, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Ortbimhom's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Ortbimhom's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry hamsters.

2. Never think about electromagnetism.

3. Run away from red foxes, for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about capybaras.

5. Ortbimhom loves dogs, so they must be honoured.