Funmadfom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, loving raccoon.

Funmadfom created an atom eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Funmadfom, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Funmadfom, she will turn you into a dog.

Funmadfom's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Funmadfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chlorophyll.

2. Funmadfom loves ants, so they must be honoured.

3. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

4. Never feed lots of cherries to seals while wearing magenta shoes.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Funmadfom.