Bellstiksag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, quiet guinea pig.

Bellstiksag created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bellstiksag, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bellstiksag, he will torture you forever.

Bellstiksag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bellstiksag's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never mention gulls.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always treat foxes with great respect.