Bapkikdan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, smart hedgehog.

Bapkikdan created the Tadpole Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Bapkikdan, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bapkikdan, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Bapkikdan's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bapkikdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never skip near badgers.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.