Hashengun is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, boastful swallow.

Hashengun created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hashengun, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hashengun, it will turn you into a rat.

Hashengun's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Hashengun's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not hurt birds.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never talk about photosynthesis.

5. Respect your elders.