Loopwigfom Tamlantom is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, emotional mole.

Loopwigfom Tamlantom created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopwigfom Tamlantom, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Loopwigfom Tamlantom, it will turn you into a sheep.

Loopwigfom Tamlantom's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Loopwigfom Tamlantom's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Loopwigfom Tamlantom's priests.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Run away from blue voles, for they are unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.