Dudnatbif Monhadzog is a god.

He takes the form of a small, unthinking aardvark.

Dudnatbif Monhadzog created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dudnatbif Monhadzog, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dudnatbif Monhadzog, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Dudnatbif Monhadzog's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Dudnatbif Monhadzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eukaryotes.

2. Never feed cherries to doves while wearing stockings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Put Dudnatbif Monhadzog first in all things.