Jopbatyok Ventettilunyamwodvogapp is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, pitiless narwhal.

Jopbatyok Ventettilunyamwodvogapp created life seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jopbatyok Ventettilunyamwodvogapp, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jopbatyok Ventettilunyamwodvogapp, he will destroy your home planet.

Jopbatyok Ventettilunyamwodvogapp's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Jopbatyok Ventettilunyamwodvogapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Retreat if four sheep approach from the south.

5. Never talk about fire.