Paktarpnul is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, omniscient spider.

Paktarpnul created the Andromeda Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Paktarpnul, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Paktarpnul, he will turn you into a rock.

Paktarpnul's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Paktarpnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt mice.

2. Do not keep eight ants in a large pit.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always help swans in need.

5. Hide if six goats approach from the east.