Talcepcep is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, bad-tempered fish.

Talcepcep created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Talcepcep, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Talcepcep, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Talcepcep's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Talcepcep's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not name children after sheep.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Never mark doors with white.